Valentine’s Day Observations from an Engineer

Posted by johnnyquickparts on January 28, 2011

Greetings, It’s your buddy, Johnny, here again. This time I’m going to talk to you about setting up for a certain special approaching date with that special someone. Valentine’s Day has always been a bit of a faux pas at my house, although a bit self-inflicted. I honestly can’t remember the last time I celebrated V-day with a special lady, but that’s neither here nor there. I am still an authority on dating simply because I spend all my time observing other people try and fail miserably at wooing the person of their dreams. I know I’m a nerd, but with “nerdiness” comes an innate familiarity with the scientific method: particularly the part about making observations. Observation Number 1: Men: You have no clue what women want, but swear that you do come V-day. Trust me gentlemen, this is a puzzle that is best left unsolved.Observation Number 2: Women: Men are clueless when it comes to accepting Observation Number 1, so don’t expect them to.Observation Number 3: Men: You have overused the chocolate candies at a time when women are both more health-conscious and weight-concerned.Observation Number 4: Men: “Practical” gifts (i.e. blenders, maglites, etc.) on Valentine’s Day are a one-way ticket to sleeping on the couch…without a sleeping buddy.Observation Number 5: Women: For all case and purposes, let’s just assume he’s a poor planner, but has tons of love in his heart. It’s not his fault that McDonald’s seemed like a perfectly reasonable place for him to “make reservations” come V-night. So give the poor guy a break. Observation Number 6: Men: Unless your name rhymes with Brad Pitt, cheesy pick up lines have never and will never work. If you’re expecting a laugh, it’s best to giggle silently to yourself. This way, when you have that smile on your face, it will hopefully come across as a ruse that you’re full of vibrance and optimism and NOT cheese. Valentine’s is quickly approaching, so if you haven’t started the search for that special someone, now’s a good a time as any. Good luck, everybody. Hope this helps. Lovingly, Johnny

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